Responsibilities...part deux

 I'm currently reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson.  For a book with such a provocative title, it's truly one of the best philosophical books I've ever read.  There was a section I just finished called "The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy, and it was so very pertinent to my previous blog post that it prompts an addendum:

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"With great power comes great responsibility."

It is true.  But there's a better version of this quote, a version that actually is profound, and all you have to do is switch the nouns around: "With great responsibility comes great power."

The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives.  Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.

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A lot of people hesitate to take responsibility for their problems because they believe that to be responsible for your problems is to also be at fault for your problems.

Responsibility and fault often appear together in our culture.  But they're not the same thing.  If I hit you with my car, I am both at fault and likely legally responsible to compensate you in some way.  Even if hitting you with my car was an accident, I am still responsible.  This is the way fault works in our society: if you f*&% up, you're on the hook for making it right.  And it should be that way.

But there are also problems that we aren't at fault for, yet we are responsible for them.

For example, if you woke up one day and there was a newborn baby on your doorstep, it would not be you fault that the baby had been put there, but the baby would now be your responsibility. You would have to choose what to do.  And whatever you ended up choosing (keeping it, getting rid of it, ignoring it, feeding it to a pit bull), there would be problems associated with your choice - and you would be responsible for those as well.

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We are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the time.  This is part of life.

Here's one way to think about the distinction between the two concepts.  Fault is past tense.  Responsibility is present tense.  Fault results from the choices that have already been made.  Responsibility results from the choices you're currently making, every second of every day.  

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This past week I have been helping my parents re-jig their living situation.  My father's mobility is going downhill, steadily, so we have set up their bedroom on the main floor so he doesn't have to risk going up stairs.  I feel the weight of being the only family close by that can assist, but I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to take on the responsibility of helping my parents.  Responsibility has been something I've been thinking about a lot, and how it's not always a hard decision to take it on.

It's a good book, I highly suggest everyone read it.

Song of the day: All In by The Fjords

https://open.spotify.com/track/1J1jsZj2yKEDcMRoeniP4v?si=168bb1de693e4a2d