Time. Part 2

I have to confess, I've felt a bit...un-enthusiastic about everything lately.  Not that anything is bad, but I've felt drained of joy.  This family vacation was much needed, and it was a great time.

But I've had troubling thoughts.  Thoughts about what I'm doing and why I'm doing them.  About what I'm devoting my time to.  I've even had thoughts about quitting the I Ho Chuan.  Not this year, but perhaps not signing up for next year. Taking a break.  Not for good, but, I told myself, maybe until Frankie is a bit older and needs less care and attention.  

Being a parent is hard, and requires a lot of physical and mental effort.  I told myself that maybe if I could pare down my responsibilities outside of that it could be easier.

But, I realized 2 things:

1. It would not be easier.  The things that already take up my time would be no less frustrating.  Being a parent and having a full time job is a slog no matter how you book-end it with other things.  You can pretend that taking all the other things out of your life will make it easier, but it won't ("If I could JUST have more time in the day to organize my life" - see the article on JUSTING)

2. "Life is what happens when you're making other plans".  If I put a pause on my personal growth, then I'm not benefiting anything.  The to-do lists and the laundry, and the cooking and the cat litter box will always be there.  If I stop doing something that makes me better because I'm trying to keep up with CHORES, then I go nowhere.  And my life is made up of chores.  If I want to do anything with my life, then I have to keep fighting and filling the little moments of my life that are not chores with something worth growing over.

I've been alive for 40 years now and I've been through at least a couple of cycles of these, and so I know that when part of my brain tells me "No, it's too haaaaaard" that I should tell it to shut up because the next part of the cycle is either "oh, that wasn't so hard, maybe we should have put more effort in" or "hey, we did it, despite all of the hard things."

So, I will now choose to do the hard things, because I can.  And also, because life is short.



Comments

  1. Shawn RitterJune 24, 2024 at 3:41 PM

    Thank you for this post! It is so easy to get focused on everything that is going on and everything that needs to be done, but more time wouldn't solve the issues. Sometimes we need to do the hard things, but by doing those we are pushing ourselves to be better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kayley BurkeJune 30, 2024 at 11:14 AM

    Fantastic blog! This will be a great reference for you in the future!

    ReplyDelete

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